fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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