Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
