you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
