Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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