That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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