me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
