woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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