It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
