Will you blow on my dice?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
