right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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