Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
