her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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