can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize