I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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