i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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