real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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