ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
