McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
