You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
