respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
