The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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