so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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