ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
