You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
