We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Randomize
