after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
