we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
