I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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