before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
