Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How does one acquire holy water?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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