so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
