Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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