If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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