and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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