Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize