it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
