Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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