You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
