ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize