I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
