I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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