the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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