I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize