I can tuck mytits in my pants
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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