Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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