so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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