Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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