Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
