I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
