Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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