thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
