I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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