My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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