this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
