and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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