? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
