I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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